I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
