In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
