for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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