is your mom at the bar?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We left the knife in your bed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
