we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
