why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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