Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
