After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
