I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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