i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
