I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
