brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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