god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
