How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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