Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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