If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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