Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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