He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
