okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
