I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
