I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
