True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
