margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
