too bad you live with your parents still
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
