Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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