So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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