the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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