Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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