You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
