Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
