You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
