Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
