What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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