it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
