i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
