I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
