He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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