who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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