I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
