Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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