i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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