just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The air was thick with penises
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
