Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
