I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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