he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize