Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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