i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
