i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
