I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
