the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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