Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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