wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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