Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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