It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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