i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
