they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize