ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
