TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
