garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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