my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
