I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
