I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So squirting runs in the family.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
