If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
