so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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