I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
