last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
