How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
