i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
