I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
