Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
